Hi. I’m Troy McClure
Human contact: the final frontier. And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P. S. I am not a crackpot. I was saying “Boo-urns. ” Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!
Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
Inflammable means flammable? What a country. I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! I was saying “Boo-urns.” Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.
- But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life.
- I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency.
- How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.